Mark: 6/10
Grade: C
WWW: You’ve met the requirements of the task and posted a
video alongside a solid evaluation.
The video has real potential despite a couple of flaws.
The opening shot is framed very well and match-on-action works to create a
smooth, flowing narrative. I agree the foreign language element really makes it
stand out and I’m delighted you’ll be doing this for the main production.
Your evaluation is honest and critical – I really like
that the first half of the evaluation is picking out the areas that could have
been better. This critical perspective suggests you have high standards and
that’s a great sign! The strengths you discuss towards the end are realistic
and accurate too.
EBI: There are still definite areas to improve in both
the video and evaluation. In terms of the video, breaking the 180 degree rule
is a really important lesson – as you acknowledge in the evaluation. The
lighting is more debateable – in some ways it creates a noir-ish feel (which
was your stated aim) but I agree in places it is too dark. It’s definitely
something to think about for the main production.
For the evaluation, you need to think a little about
structure. You just have one block of text! Although the content of the
evaluation is good I’m disappointed the word count only reaches 450 (on a minimum
500-word task). You also need more depth and detail to your analysis to reach
the higher levels: the aspects you discuss (particularly the criticisms) are
all valid but pick out a specific shot, transition or timing when writing your
analysis. What impact does this have on the audience?
LR: Go back to your evaluation and organise it into
paragraphs. Add some specific references to the production to bring the word
count over 500.
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